The Summer Ran Away

How did it get to be the end of August already? I do not know how that happened. It vanished. I do admit to having a decent suntan (just don't tell my dermatologist). I did spend the better part of two weeks floating in the ocean. My garden did pretty darn well considering the drought.

But how did it get to be the end of August? Kids are going back to school already. I have seen fallen leaves on the lawn. I am not ready for the fall.

Last winter was very mild for us, except one day of extreme cold. The year before was horrible. It was the year of 10' of snow around here that didn't melt for weeks. The long range forecasts are projecting a cold and snowy winter. I really am not ready for that.

I saw Christmas decorations in stores last week. I was appalled.

I am not ready to stop going to the beach. I will even go in the winter. I just wish it was the beginning of summer instead of the end.

Annual Physical

I am just fine. I am damn happy. And perky! And feeling no pain. No that's a big fat lie. I have a lot of pain. I ran out of steam yesterday. I was very tired by the end of the day. Apparently I did too much. All I did was go to the gym. And then the library and one store. That was it. I was wiped out. I even took a break after the gym.

Next week I have my annual physical. I have two options: go in and lie and say everything is fine, or go in and tell the truth about how I feel. This could put me back on a medical roller coaster of a sort. At this point I am not concerned with out going back on the medical roller coaster as I am with being as healthy as I can.

I do not think I have something bad going on. Its just my annual chance to sit down with my primary care physician and go through how I am feeling, what are my concerns, and what we can do to make me do better, or even improve my health - now that's an interesting concept.

Now I just have to make a list of what I want to talk about. Damn.

A Post For Friends of Sick People

Barbara over at Let Life Happen blogged about visiting breast cancer patients. I feel this is a greatly ignored topic and want to add my two cents on this for the benefit of all patients.

First of all, before you visit a sick person, put yourself in their shoes. When are you feeling awful, do you want to entertain someone for hours? Do you want to answer dozens of phone calls asking the same thing? Don't you want to sleep or watch bad TV or sip herbal tea in your bathrobe with fuzzy slippers on your feet? If you are in pain, what is your preferred activity - lying in bed with your tablet or sitting up in a chair talking to people? Please think first before you go visit someone who is ill or even call them.

Second of all, if someone is in the hospital these days, chances are they are not doing very well. I have never gotten a good night's sleep in the hospital (because my blood is best between 3-5 AM when they come to get it and wake me up). I am probably not feeling well and am usually cranky as a result. I am probably in my pajamas (or a lovely Dr. Seymour Butts hospital gown) and not looking my best. Chances are I am in pain as well.

Never just drop by because you 'were in the hospital'. A few years back, a friend 'dropped by' because she had some blood work done at 8 AM on the day after a major surgery. A very bad thing to do. I don't know what she was thinking. Visiting hours didn't even start until 11 AM. I was in a lot of pain and really didn't want to see anyone.

Having a party in someone's hospital room is a really bad idea. A friend had heart surgery in his early-30s. My then-boyfriend and a bunch of other friends were going to visit him at the hospital a day or two after surgery. I refused to go. Why? Because I had been a patient and had surgery and knew I would not want that many visitors for a few hours a couple of days after surgery.

I can't tell you how many times in the hospital, I have seen hospital rooms full of a dozen visitors for several hours and the patient is dozing in bed (probably wishing they would all just leave and let them rest). A hospital room is not a party room.

Once a patient is home, that doesn't mean the door is open for non-stop visitors. They probably want to rest and recover. They might have visiting nurses and PT/OT for a few weeks. If you want to visit, call first. If you don't get them, leave a message and wait for them to get back to you.

Honestly the best bet for visiting someone after surgery or who is ill enough to require hospitalization is to call before any medical misadventures and ask about visiting them afterwards. Do not assume anything. Some people may welcome visitors and some may not. You cannot know unless you ask. Also, you might want to offer to stop and get them some groceries or bring a casserole. Just ask first.

When I am in the hospital, I tell everyone the only ones to visit me in the hospital are my husband and my immediate family. Everyone else can wait until I tell them I am ready.

Finally, if you have been exposed to or are harboring any germs yourself, stay away until you are healthy.

Good News/Bad News

So the good news is that heart disease is becoming less of a problem for many Americans and the death rate is down. But the bad news is that cancer is beginning to take over as the leading cause of death of Americans. It is already the leading cause of death for Asians and Pacific Islanders.

Well whoop de do. Does that make me any less likely to die of heart disease or cancer? Not really.

Exercise for Memory???? Or Cancer Causes Stress.

A new study (because we all new more studies) says that exercise can boost memory for breast cancer patients. What? I exercise and my memory is shot, getting worse every day. I don't believe it.

The theory is that exercise alleviates stress and benefits women psychologically which improves their memory.

"A surprising finding is memory problems appear to be related to the high stress load cancer survivors experience, and may not be specific to chemotherapy or radiation treatments."

That's surprising? To me this is even more important than figuring out that exercise improves memory. Seriously, I could have told you that a cancer diagnosis causes incredible stress. It just amazes me how many people do not get that part. Obviously they haven't been diagnosed with cancer. 

Stop Comparing

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I quickly learned every person's cancer is different - even if they have the same diagnosis. (This is why it is so hard to treat.) I learned not to compare myself to anyone else. In every support group, even if we had the same diagnosis, we learned how different all are.

I get this. We are all different. We can't compare our cancers to each other.

But.... why do I keep comparing my rheumatoid arthritis to others? I have to stop comparing myself. My mother has had RA since 1989 and a friend (exact same age as me) has had RA since the early 2000's. Their differences are striking. My mother was diagnosed when they only treated RA when it became symptomatic so she has many of the deformities and issues common among patients treated according to the old standards. But her health is much more stable than mine. My friend has had RA and has very few problems. Until she retired (for non-health reasons), she worked full time including much business travel and long days.

Me? I struggle with fatigue, pain, and more fatigue and more pain. How did I get to be so special? I try not to compare myself with my friend but I do.

As medical diagnoses go, everyone is unique. It doesn't matter if three people have the exact same diagnosis but because of their genetic make up, medical history, and other issues, each is unique. No two are alike (boy am I glad I am not a doctor trying to cure people). And everyone interprets everything different. Some people might be distressed by a little nausea and others may not think it significant.

The lesson that I need to better learn is that I need to stop comparing myself to anyone else's medical stuff. I am unique and so is everyone else. I just need to focus on this life lesson. I think I will stop whining as much if I did. Everyone else will appreciate that part.

Has A Cancer Diagnosis Changed How You Think?

I was reading over at KatyDid Cancer that she turned 41. After being diagnosed with breast cancer before 35 she was never sure she would get to 40, or 41. (But now she is thinking 50.)

This made me think. How do I think about how long I will live? And how would I think differently about how long I would live if I had never had cancer?

At 19 (and invincible) I had no thought of how long I would live. Because I was barely an adult and between my freshman and sophomore years of college. And longevity was the last thing on my mind. I just assumed it would be shorter than without cancer.

At 45 I was more responsible and married with a second diagnosis. The thought of how long I would live definitely popped up again. But what was most concerning was how would I have thought differently if I had never had cancer? I have struggled with this one: how had my life been impacted by cancer which was something I never wanted. 

During the intervening years my thought processes had changed of course. But how would I have thought different if I never had cancer? I never really had a chance to be an adult without cancer so I have no idea on what I would have thought.

But since I can not undo the past, I have to settle with my current thoughts. Which doesn't give me any good answers.