A Long Day At Doctors

After all my traveling, I realized that my body was not being very cooperative. I have increased knee pain (in the new bad knee, as opposed to the old bad knee), I have new back pain higher up than previously (it came and went for a few years but is not more there than not), and my neck and right shoulder have been giving me lots of problems.

So after waiting around for a few weeks, it became time for all my appointments. I had three different medical appointments, in two different facilities 30 minutes apart, yesterday. I started at physical therapy about my neck and shoulder. After speaking to the therapist, he did some stretching on my neck and gave me a  whole bunch of exercises. I will go back and see him twice a week for the next six to eight weeks. And its not that convenient a location.

Next I saw the nurse practitioner of my pain management doctor. She talked to me and pressed all sorts of painful places on my body. She upped my medications and sent me for x-rays. I am supposed to go see her again in three week to see where we are and see if I need an MRI or other imaging. I haven't had a spine MRI since around January 2009 and the question will be if my insurance will pay for it, if I really need it. 

I am kind of fed up with this doctor. He has said to me that even though he has been treating me for nearly 7 years, he does not think there is a need for any new imaging. Any new pains are only caused by my existing conditions. If I don't get anywhere with this NP and doctor this one last time, I will probably find a new one. A friend of mine also saw him for  years and then went to a back surgeon who told her she should have had surgery a long time before. This does nothing to my comfort level with him..

Then I went to X-ray for five pictures of my knee, four pictures of my thoracic spine, and three pictures of my lumbar spine. That was lots of fun. I am not good with the contortions required for some x-rays.

Finally I saw my orthopedic surgeon. My knee was back to its throbbing at night that I had experienced last winter and spring before he injected my knee. I hoped for a new injection which is what I got. But it made my knee really sore and I hobbled out to my car. I went home and took a 2.5 hour nap. I think I was a little tired.

Overall it was a good day, just very long for me. I am not sure I am up for a long day like that again. 

This is just a bit of my life with millions of doctors. At least I didn't see any oncologists. That part makes me happy.

How can I sit?

My newest advice is don't sit with your legs crossed. The reason for this with my bad knees is that the amount of torque that is put on your tibia when you do that is very high. My right knee (the one with the partially torn ACL) popped and I couldn't move or straighten my leg. It took about 15 minutes before it started to feel better.

I asked the physical therapist at the gym. He was the one who told me I shouldn't sit with my legs crossed.

So if I sit down on the floor, how am I supposed to sit? I can't sit with my legs out straight. I can't bend them to one side because my back would complain. Don't even think about kneeling. That is not possible. I can't stop sitting on the floor either. Sometimes you just need to sit down an take care of something.

All I can say is crap!

When Will I Learn?

The answer is not anytime soon. Yesterday I went to a craft show and had a booth. I had a blast. I sold tons of my stuff and had a lot of fun at the same time. I might have even made a new friend.

But obviously I am not the best candidate to leave home at 620 AM to get to the show at 7 AM, set up my booth, sit and stand for hours, and break down my booth, and drive home to get home at 530 PM. I also lifted things, dragged things, set up folding tables and a canopy. I pulled things out of my car and then put them back in. I did all those things my doctors are telling me not to do - lift, carry, twist, push, pull, etc.

Today I am paying the price. I am sore and achy. I am sore in places that haven't hurt in recent years. My right knee, which has a partially torn ACL for the last 15 years, is now complaining. Significantly. I think I need ice and elevation for a while to make it feel better. Then I can tell you about the place in my back which had injections on Thursday. Its very unhappy.

So when will I learn? I need to learn that my body is not built for any of this any more. I need to learn to be a nice sedate quiet person. (I almost typed 'sedate little old lady' but I am definitely not ready for that classification. I want my tombstone to say something along the lines of 'that was one hell of a ride'. And I doubt I will ever be called sedate, unless it was in the context of being sedated, queue the Ramones song now.)

I may need to sedate myself to get through the next 24-48 hours. 

But I really need to learn to stop over doing things now so I stop needing to recover from them. 

Disappointment

I just got back from the knee doctor. (I think I almost have a doctor for each body part these days.) What a disappointment that was.

So I met with my knee doctor and another knee doctor he brought in to consult. My first knee doctor, Dr. L, has been great. He has been talking to me about not having my ACL repaired because he was concerned it would never heal right and would always be stiff. So he wanted me to see Dr. B to get another opinion on this.

Dr B gave me his thoughts. First of all, he reiterated what Dr L had told me - no guarantee it would ever heal right. And he also said there is no guarantee my knee would be any less painful after the surgery.

So the best option for me is to wait until my knee is really bad and I get older and then have a knee replacement. I need to be older so I don't live longer than the replacement knee parts (because if you replace it a second time, it never works very well). And if they do the ACL repair now, it would make the knee replacement more difficult and riskier that it would not do as well.

In the interim, I got a cortisone shot in my knee to see if that helps. I can go back and get more cortisone shots if it acts up. (Did I say I hate needles?) And if it starts collapsing on me (when I am walking on a nice flat surface), I should go back and see him. And continue the PT exercises for eternity. Also, wear a knee brace as needed. (Knee braces on the beach cause tan lines.)

So I am disappointed. I was hoping for the magic silver bullet that will cure all my ailments, including my knee. Damn.

Listen up: No more ailments!

There I am minding my own business, at the gym, working out. I finished my cardio and went back to the locker room to put away my tablet before weights and stretching. And my right knee started hurting. This is not allowed.

My right knee has not given me problems since knee surgery (after a skiing 'incident') in 2001. It is currently known as my 'good knee' therefore it is not allowed to give me any problems or cause any pains or any other issues.

I have too many other body parts with 'issues' so my right knee is not allowed to misbehave. I will be good to it for a few days but then it needs to get its act together and behave.

Okay, 'nuff said.

When your body lets you down

It happens to all of us - you reach for something and your back twinges, you get a bad cold, or whatever, they are part of life. But then sometimes your body really lets you down.

This became very clear to me one day when I was skiing about ten years ago. I was having a wonderful time and then I fell on one run. I thought I was fine but some man stopped and said he friend had gone for the ski patrol. I thought he was crazy but since he insisted on waiting with me, he could help me untangle my skis. Then when I put weight on my knee it bent side ways and I knew he was right. I ended up with a torn meniscus and a partially torn ACL which meant knee surgery and the beginnings of knee problems.

My body has since let me down in other ways. I seem to have collected ailments that won't go away. Tennis elbow, lymphedema, bad back, rheumatoid, fibromyalgia, and that cancer crap. They just keep piling up. Yesterday afternoon I got very frustrated with myself. I try to be a normal person and then my body protests.

Sometimes I feel I should be in a geriatric ward some place with all my aches and pains. But then I try to tell myself that I got through cancer twice so I can cope through all this. But its the continued emotional spiral of coping with aches, pains and scars that is difficult.

I haven't been getting enough rest recently. Nor enough sleep. This makes it harder for me to physically and emotionally deal with life. And since we are at the worst part of the chaos of putting our house on the market (which means I will take our toaster oven with us today so it will not be in the way while they take pictures of the house). I will bring it back tonight so we can have toast in the morning and then take it with us again as they show the house. This is on top of the list of everything else I have to do today to make the house picture perfect.

My biggest problem is with everything I cannot do. I can't carry stuff around (one of my doctors told me that I cannot pick up everything after I told him we were moving). I have to wait for my husband to be home to carry stuff around for me. I get stuck and have to wait for help so often. My body is failing me too soon. And it drags me down and I constantly have to fight back.

Okay, enough whininess this morning. I will go back to being positive.