Finally Back Home

I have spent most of the past two weeks travelling. First it was a needed break with my husband. Then it was a road trip to meet some people who were very important to me but I had never met. I am also now getting over a cold. My husband shared his cold with me last week and I have had it since. To be fair he has been sick for a week as well.

While it may not have been the best idea to over do things for several days in the row, emotionally I needed it.

Anyway, now I am back home and relaxing instead of getting up to go somewhere. I am way behind on rest and sleep. My fatigue level is too high. Basically I need to nap for the next few days to catch up.

However do I regret all my travelling? Certainly not. It was a welcome break from reality. Everyone needs to break up their regular life and do something different. Especially people who are not healthy and feel stuck in a rut because of their health limitations.

Now I do feel refreshed and ready to get back to my regular life (and finally put away my suitcase). And get back to doctor appointments.

I am ready to catch up on so many things - my blog, my doctor appointments, and more.

I took a break from reality

We just spent six days in northern Maine where there is sketchy phone service and minimal wifi - if at all. I kept my phone on airplane mode so I wouldn't kill the battery with it searching for a signal. Because there weren't any. We couldn't phone home if we wanted to.

Actually it was very nice. A break from everything. I didn't blog which was very minor. But I also didn't worry about medical issues. At all. I pretended I was healthy and did what I could.

We had fun. It was peak foliage. We took a boat tour on Moosehead Lake. We drove 10 miles down a dirt road to look at ruins of a plane crash - which was eerie and creepy to say the least. But definitely worth it. We helped the local economy by shopping and dining out.

It was a wonderful break from all things medical. I didn't have a doctor appointment. I didn't concern myself with anything. This week I have two medical appointments to make up for the break.

I highly recommend a week of unplugging and disconnecting for everyone. But now I have to catch up on so many things.

Back To Reality

Groan! We were on vacation for two weeks. Most of the time we were on the ocean. We have been home for a few days already but I allowed myself to stay in vacation mode until this morning. In the past two weeks, I:

• Have not had a doctor appointment - that changes as of 1045 AM this morning. I have an appointment with my therapist. Later this week I see the periodontist and have a medical exam for my Social Security Disability application. 
• Gone to the gym - I thought I needed a break. I haven't been sitting on my butt. I have gone and floated around the ocean and made sure I did get some exercise in.
• Taken care of housework or home repairs or work - Back to repainting the rooms in the house. I will start with one wall of the basement today. It will probably take me several days to finish because I have to rest in between but I really hate the dark navy blue that is on two of the walls down there. I figure it will take me a year to paint at this rate. The cleaning lady is coming on Wednesday so I also have to tidy up so she can clean.
• Gotten together with any friends. I am meeting one for lunch tomorrow and will probably catch up with a couple others on the phone in the next few days.

But this has been a welcome break. I don't think its a vacation if you keep doing all the things you normally do. Even thought I do not go to work any more, I do need a change of pace from time to time and get away from it all. 

Not having doctor appointments is a nice break. I tried not to think about my medical issues except when I am in so much pain I couldn't do anything. It was a needed mental health break. 

I usually go to the gym three times a week. I have felt a bit flabby from time to time but I also wanted to see how I physically do without going to the gym. A big part of it was to see if I actually had a reduction in pain by not exercising. Or to state it differently, are my regular workouts causing pain or other problems.

I have no schedule for painting the house. I just hate the colors the rooms were painted. I have no expectations that I am a perfect painter but since I can't work any more, I can't justify paying someone to paint. Nor to I expect to rush through this as I am so limited in my physical abilities. But its one thing that I can do to help around the house. 

Not talking to friends is fine. We were with my family and its not like I have a huge social calendar that needs to be juggled. I will catch up with all in the next few weeks. 

An emotional break from a lot of obligations made me relax more. Unfortunately it has to come to an end and I will go to the gym and my therapist this morning to get back in the swing of things. 

Changes

Lots have changed in the last 24 hours. I am in a better place. Physically we returned home this morning. A few days early for the same reasons as last year. I had issues with family members, my sister to be exact. Is it me? I don't know. I will talk to my therapist about this. I don't like it when this happens. I just feel like I'm stuck in 'Ground Hog Day' with my sister. But one thing I do know is that we will not be back next year.

How bad was it? My sister pulled her usual passive-aggressive crap. After yelling at me because my brother and I made a decision to go to the big museum from the house museum we were at so we would actually have some time there because it was getting late. It was my fault because I actually thought to call her and tell her we were leaving. I thought I was being considerate. That was the start

When we came home I was physically exhausted and ended up sleeping for a couple of hours. I woke up just before 7 pm and hoped that someone else had actually started dinner. It was not the case. My brother had gone for a short walk. My sister had organized her nail polish. My husband and brother eventually kicked me out of the kitchen and finished cooking dinner and sent my grumpy-self away.

Finally dinner was ready. My sister showed up at the table late (so we had to wait for her) to eat. Then she insisted that she have a special water glass that she had to get herself and she couldn't use any other one. And it went down hill from there. My sister admitted no guilt. I got mad at my sister. My sister got mad at me. My husband got mad at my sister. My father left because he didn't want to deal with the arguing.

After dinner, my husband and I went to try to find my father and drove around to see if we could find him. We also decided we were leaving in the morning. Finally my father came home. We went to bed. We got up early and were on the road home by 7 am.

I get to sleep in our own bed tonight. I do not have to deal with any family members. I can get the rest I need. We will go back down Saturday morning to make sure they put the house back together (and I can bring back the books I took by mistake).

Mentally I am also in a better place than I was because:

• We are home away from my family, especially my sister.
• Our cats seem to appreciate the fact we came back to see them.
• I got my broken laptop screen fixed already (which must be some kind of record)

All I have to do is find the damn remote control for the bed so I can raise it up so I can get comfy and take a nap.... (one of the cats must have put it on the dining room table).

What is the scientific truism - if you keep doing the same thing, how can you expect a different result?

Less Technology

We are away on vacation (note to burglars: we have a house sitter and two anti-burglar cats) and I have less access to technology:

• My phone is dead. I mean the battery is dead. I brought the wrong charger so it won't charge. As a backup we have my husband's phone but its not mine so I won't be using it much.
• There is one TV in the house we rented. It is downstairs and there are 7 of us now and will be 11 of us later so that means not a lot of tube time.
• All the plugs in this house (built in the early 1800s) are two prong. All the computer chargers are three prong. Dead batteries will probably occur.

And I don't really care. I can live without technology (as the withdrawal begins). We are at the beach. I have a pile of library books. It will do me good to unplug. We will have to do things like talk to each other.

I do want to take pictures so without my phone I might just not. That's okay. We are with family so other people can take pictures too. 

It also means I can't obsess over any new ailment because I can't just google it. (This is a very good thing.) I'll just pretend I'm healthy and any new ailment will magically go away like for normal people.

I think we spend too much time online, looking at screens and we don't look at the world around us. (Think of the people who have walked or driven into things or off things because they are looking at a screen. Or the groups of teens who sit together but look at screens at text each other instead of talking.)

I am happy to be unplugged. I will blog but I will also go to the beach. The beach just might be more important (and is a five minute walk).

I took a little holiday

Its a holiday and I took a little holiday. We went up to a friend's cabin in the mountains where there is no wifi, no cell phone service. We were off line. Okay, we had a satellite dish for TV but I was happy to relax and read a book (you know those things with paper pages and cardboard covers?)

Anyway, I didn't blog. I didn't read my email, look at Facebook or anything. It was very nice. I also pretended I was a healthy person and helped my friends paint the trim on their house. Back to reality tomorrow, after about 10 hours of sleep.