A Cold and Rainy Day For Me To Take Advantage

I am sitting here in a warm sweater with my feet up watching reruns on the DVR while it is cold and rainy outside. The cats went out because they insisted (I said they should stay in but they didn't listen - of course). When the electrician showed up around 845 AM, they came in soaking wet and snow are napping where its warm and dry.

Now that I am not working, I do appreciate having the opportunity to stay home on bad weather days. The whole point of stopping work was to be able to take better care of myself. And cold rainy days are perfect for sitting around with my feet up.

But if you want to think I am that lazy, I am not. I have the second of five loads of laundry in the wash with the first one drying. I have also picked up the house in preparation for the cleaning lady's arrival tomorrow morning.

My health is more important to me than almost anything. (Everyone should keep their health front and center take care of themselves.) Is there anything I could have done to prevent the collapse of my health? No I don't think so (except for my bad knees which I managed to do in through skiing, ice skating, hiking, snow shoeing, and more). These days my goals include not doing anything that might make my heath worse - short or long term. It doesn't seem to take much.

Last summer I went to water the plants in the back yard with the hose. And managed to completely tear my ACL in my left knee - something that won't be fixed short of a knee replacement. Some caution is the word (especially when my husband is looking except when I want him to take over for me).

I do want to get to the library later to pick up and return books. I also want to stop by the paint store to get paint samples to try out. Eventually I will paint more rooms but I am still confirming what colors I want. I want to try painting the samples on the wall and see how they look. (I will paint them on the wall where a picture is hanging and then I will rehang the pictures until I am ready to paint.)

I am taking after their example and will stay inside until I break down and go to the library and paint store. In the meantime I think its time for a cup of tea.

New bed

I consider a power bed to be something of a medical requirement, and not some extra expense at this point in my life. My husband thought it was an expensive luxury and wasn't too happy I insisted on getting one. We can just say we have a difference of opinion on the subject but as I said it was the one thing I wanted with a new house, we got one. I need to do everything I can to make sure I can sleep.

The new bed finally arrived yesterday, in the middle of a snow storm (expected accumulation of 4-8" which turned into 10+" and a six hour power outage). It was snowing enough that we were concerned it would still be delivered as scheduled. I called to confirm around 11 am and they were out on the road. So I called the plow company and he said he would be here in an hour or so. I crossed my fingers that the plow would get here before the delivery truck. Of course not.

Our new house has a fairly long driveway with a hill sloping down from the road to the house. The delivery guys showed up and parked on the street as I doubt they could have gotten the truck back out of the driveway.  They slide the base of the power bed, which is fairly heavy, down the driveway in its box. It was a big sled essentially. They unwrapped it outside and set it up in the bedroom. Then they dragged the old mattress and box spring up the hill and slide the new mattress down the hill (definitely got a workout).

My husband got out of work early because of the storm. When he arrived he had to leave to go run some errands because the driveway still wasn't plowed. I called the plow company again.... An hour later the driveway was plowed and my husband could actually get in the house.

Due to the lack of power, I couldn't show him how the bed goes up and down and you can adjust it and get really comfy. He did lie down on it to read and I could hear the snoring from the living room. He also admitted that it was comfortable. As soon as the power came on, I readjusted it so we were really comfy.

Then when we went to bed last night, I raised the head of the bed a tiny bit (because one of the real points of this bed is that the head of the bed could be raised to reduce snoring). This morning, my husband slept in a bit. He admitted to sleeping well. Me? I was very comfortable. It was every penny. A new power bed is clearly better than a 15 year old mattress with a memory foam topper.

The next stage of my life

I have been developing a plan, a wonderful secret plan. My plan is for the next stage of my life. It will be to focus on taking better care of me. It may sound a little selfish but I need to focus on me.

I have stopped working, taking a 'retirement', so to speak. I stopped working because of my health. When getting through a four hour day, two days a week, was tiring me out, it was time to take a step back. I felt like I was running from one event to another and then not getting enough rest and being fatigued. I constantly felt tired. Yesterday I went back to the office for a few hours and was told I looked 'rested'. That is a good thing.

We are moving to a house which will allow me 95% one floor living. Our current house is a cape. Our bedroom is on the second floor so everything I need is downstairs, except the is a bathroom on both floors. The laundry is in the basement which is two floors down (and back up). I feel like I constantly go up and down stairs, when often I want to skip the stairs. I have been minimizing trips up and down because the stairs are too much work sometimes.

The new house has all three bedrooms and two bathrooms on one floor as well as the kitchen, dining room, and living room. I can do everything pretty much and stay on one floor. The laundry is downstairs but its only down one floor. There are some stairs outside the front door but they are gradual. I will need to go downstairs to get to the garage. But only when I want to. Lots less up and down.

The next step is to find ways to get me out of the house. I will continue to go to the gym three times a week. I have also contacted a local cancer support community about using their services and volunteering. Once we are unpacked, I will start going there every other week or more often. I will also have more time to go see my parents and do their grocery shopping and driving as necessary.

My long term goal is to be more rested, less fatigued, and get enough sleep. I also want to focus on the emotional me so I am getting the support I need and helping others for that sense of satisfaction. And lose that stupid 30 lbs I have been carrying around.

Am I making a bad decision?

Today is my last day of work. Well, I will continue to work one day a week from home and go to the office once a month until my replacement is found. And I will go into the office to help train him/her for a few days.

The reason I am leaving work is my health is not that great, in case you hadn't noticed. Even though I have cut way back on my schedule, I still am fighting fatigue and aches and pains. One goal in moving is to cut way back on expenses so my non-existent income will not be noticed.

Three years ago,  in the fall of 2012, I was diagnosed with both rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia. (Actually it was exactly three years ago tomorrow that I announced this.) At that point I was working two jobs and a total of about 30-35 hours each week.

In early 2013, I resigned from my other job because I could not physically keep up the pace of working so much. It also required nights and weekends. In 2014 I started working fewer and fewer hours in my current job. Now I am down to about 8 hours each week, and I can barely keep up.

With the decision to move and reduce our expenses, it became much easier for me to decide to stop working. I am looking forward to having more time to take care of me.

During the next few months, I will have plenty to do with moving and the holidays and craft shows. Once we settle into a new house, I have no plans on staying home all the time. I would like to find some volunteer work to ensure I get out of the house and don't go stir crazy - but that would be fewer hours with more flexibility. I also plan to continue to go to the gym three times a week. My sanity is important.

But I must return to my original question of am I making a decision? I guess it would be a bad one if I was only thinking financially. But I do not have that luxury any longer.