Showing posts with label shopping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shopping. Show all posts
Disappointment

Disappointment

When I stopped working where they brought cookies, bagels, and pastries in several times a week, when for runs to the bakery next door for snacks, and shared pizza, Chinese, or Thai lunches, I thought I would lose weight. I did lose some weight, maybe 10 lbs. Then I gained some of it back.

Some how over the past ten years, besides getting older and developing a million health ailments, I have managed to put on more pounds than I can believe. I am thirty pounds over what I consider my fattest ever weight. I am not sure how that happened. And now, even though I go to the gym three times a week, I can't seem to lose any more.

I know you are what you eat but that doesn't seem to help me. Today was a big breakfast (we are on vacation) of a banana, two eggs, three pieces of bacon and a piece of toast (homemade bread) with butter. That was more than I normally have and I wasn't hungry for lunch until 2 pm when I had a peach and a plum. That will tide me over for dinner.

Tonight for dinner I am making an awesome looking seafood stew.  The original recipe calls for 4.5 cups whipping cream and 2 cups of half and half. I'll be using 1% milk instead. I can't imagine all that fat. Chowder isn't the most healthy thing to eat but a rainy day in New England on the ocean calls for chowder. But we will also have a salad and home made bread with it. What we don't eat tonight will be eaten for lunch and other meals for the next few days. Portion control is a big part of weight control.

Back to my topic of disappointment. I was very disappointed today when I went to try on clothes and they didn't fit. Very depressing. Even an XL was too small. And its really only the flabbiness around my middle that I can't seem to get rid of. My inner size six is lost behind a wall of flab.

I am disappointed in myself in that I can't seem to lose the weight. I am disappointed in my body which restricts what I am able to do. I physically am unable to do more exercise. I do not just sit around at home. I make sure I do things every day - I go out to the garden. I get together with friends. I try to eat healthy. I don't eat junk food. I don't eat candy or drink soda.

Its not my thyroid so I can't really rev up my metabolism as I don't have a thyroid. My medication level was just tweaked up but that's not a diet solution.

I know as you age it gets harder to lose weight. I realize this. I also know that I made a big lifestyle change by leaving work.  But I also need to make another change that makes me a skinnier person. I wouldn't mind being healthier but that's not going to happen short of a miracle cure.
Bathing Suit Shopping - or things cancer people should be exempt from

Bathing Suit Shopping - or things cancer people should be exempt from

Yesterday after work, I went bathing suit shopping. What a bad idea. Why do I do this to myself? Cancer people should get awesome bathing suits without having to try them on and have their size fit them, not the one two sizes larger. They should also get exempt from lots of bad things in life - standing in line to start with.

Why are bathing suits sized so small? Who ever finds a bathing suit in their regular size that fits? Every one I know always gets a bathing suit a size or two larger than their normal size. I know you want them to fit you and not fall off when getting out of the water. But seriously? They never fit.

Anyway, I did go bathing suit shopping. Did I buy a bathing suit? No. I found one I really like but will have to go to another store to find it in my the larger size. They are called 'Magic suits' and are supposed to make you look like you lost ten pounds instantly.

What I did buy was a gift for a friend, a pair of shorts, three tops, a sweater, a replacement power cord for my phone and a wireless keyboard for my tablet. But no bathing suit. This means I have to go bathing suit shopping again. Damn.
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It was a huge mistake


I have no idea what took over my brain/body yesterday. Before 10am had done the following:
  • Reorganized the linen closet - removed everything, refolded it and put it back in an organized fashion.
  • Cleaned and refilled spice bottles 
  • Reorganized the pantry and got rid of some really expired food.
I don't know what I was thinking. I had no plans to do any of this. But then my fingers started inching as I was looking for towels and I couldn't find the ones I wanted. So I had pull everything out and refold and sort everything. I even got my husband to put everything back on the top shelf the way I wanted it.

Then I went down to the kitchen and made some cookies. While they were cooking, I cleaned up my mess and then put some spices back and realized the jars were sticky and needed refilling....

And I went to put ingredients back in the pantry and.... well you get it by now.

My husband needed a new pair of shoes. I suggested DSW and looked online to make sure they had the right shoes for him. He said I didn't need to go with him - I said 'Seriously? You thought I would pass up an opportunity to go shoe shopping?' He got what he wanted and I got a nice pair of Merrell sandals for next summer from the clearance rack.

Later in the day I paid the price with a sore back from standing and doing too many things. Crap. I took a tramadol and hung out on the couch for a few hours.