I forgot to get excited

There were two recent events where I forgot to get excited. First I forgot one of my cancerversaries last week (9 years if you care). My other cancerversary is in August and will be 35 years. I try not to focus on them in my life. My life is not about cancer. Its about me. And I don't want to focus my life on cancer.

Then I forgot National Cancer Survivorship (S-word) Day which was yesterday. I seriously think this is a 'Hallmark' holiday. Something some marketer came up with to sell more 'crap' (I mean 'stuff'). Are people supposed to send cards, chocolates, and flowers? Should we have parties with balloons, cakes? And can we name it without the disputed S-word?

I didn't get excited so I really just forgot them both.

Language Please!

I am not very happy with the language used to describe people who are less than healthy. Just like the mental health community has changed their words to avoid calling people the "R-word", we need to get rid of some other words as well.

I'll start with that awful S-word, the one to describe people with cancer. Ditch it. Please. I didn't survive anything more than a boat load of doctor appointments. And by the way you can get rid of all those war-related ones too. The B-word (battle) is another awful one. Fight? Fighting a cold is okay because I think its a short term inference and I can live with that. Fighting cancer? Not so good.

Next there is another S-word, we'll call it S-word2, or 'Sufferer'. First of all its hard to say. Eat some peanut butter and try to get it out. I suffer from pain, not a disease. And don't call me that word either.

What are good words to use? I can be someone living with cancer, rheumatoid, or fibromyalgia. Or I could be an arthritis patient. But I would really just like to be a person, not a statistic, a number, a survivor, a sufferer, a battler. Just a person.

Cancer language

I recently read about more offensive language of cancer. Where do people get these ideas?

I know then President Nixon declared a war on cancer in the early 1970s. Fine, have your war on cancer but sending in armies of scientists and doctors to research it to death and kill it off. But the people with cancer? We are not at war, we just want to stay alive.

I really dislike the S-word. Why? Because its a label. I am a person; I am not a label. You can describe me by saying words like short, slightly flabby, or something else, or even smart or other nice words. You can even say slightly cranky or pushy or assertive. You can also say I am a patient and a frequent flier at my local hospital. But I am not a survivor. All I have survived is a billion or so doctor's appointments and medical misadventures. Okay, you can say I have survived driving in metropolitan Boston for the last few decades. Sometimes that's a daily demolition derby.

I didn't survive cancer. With cancer, you can achieve remission, partial remission, or have NED (No Evidence of Disease) status (which is me currently). But you are never told you are cured. If you are told you are cured your doctor must be stupid a miracle worker because there is no cure for cancer. Well okay, there are a few cancers that can be cured but definitely not all. You will spend the rest of your life being 'best buds' with your oncologist, endocrinologist, or so other specialist.

Now the CDC in its infinite wisdom as a part of our government has launched a new program called Bring Your Brave, which is a breast cancer awareness program for young women. Really? I find it almost as offensive as the boobies programs that are out there. Bring my brave what? My brave face - the one I wear when my doctor is about to give me bad news or I am heading off for another surgery? My brave suit of armor when I have to deal with a bunch of nitwits somewhere?

And why does it only focus on breast cancer? It would be much better to have a cancer awareness program for all types of cancer for younger adults. Most do not expect to be diagnosed with cancer and have their world upside down.

For any other ailment, you are a patient or a person. This patient has a complication with their cardiac surgery. Or 'this person has an ulcer', or 'congestive heart failure', or 'strep throat'. Why can't we say this patient has stage III pancreatic cancer? Why does it have to be 'this person is fighting metastatic brain cancer' or  this patient is a breast cancer survivor'?

These war words are the obscenities of the cancer world. Fix your vocabulary people! Thank you. 

Its a life, not a fight

Cancer is not a battle, or a war, or anything more than someone's life. Finally there is some research backing me up. New research says that calling cancer a fight can be negative for the patient. Yes, negative.

War connotations lead to feelings of failure. The blame gets put on the patient. Who gets the guilt and sense of failure if they face further progressions in their cancer - which is completely beyond their control. Guilt and failure do not lead to happy people who are willing to take care of themselves and adopt healthy lifestyles. They lead to depression and more.

President Nixon declared a war on cancer. The American Cancer Society calls us survivors from the point of diagnosis. But they are wrong. It is not a battle or a war. It is a life.

So take that battle, war or whatever it is out of the equation. Stop telling us we are survivors.

All I survived is a boatload of doctor appointments. Nothing more, nothing less. I try to stay positive but do not try to shift any blame onto me.