Getting the 'good advice'

Becky, over at BCBecky blogged about The costs of cancer treatment. I read her post and then commented on it. And then, I started thinking (sorry, I do think sometimes).

In her blog post, Becky talked about the costs of treatment, but not just the financial ones. And the sustainability of keeping up with her current course of treatment. Of course she has advice from people who may not have had cancer. My thought would be talk to the people who have had cancer and had to make the same types of decisions and then make your own choice.

I really think that as those who have had cancer, we need to take our learned knowledge and help others who are facing the same decisions. After a cancer diagnosis, we have gone through so much as we made decisions, coped with the treatment, and are still here to talk about it. So why can't we help others?

In making our decisions, we had to educate ourselves  and go through the decision making process. We learned the 'unsaid' portions of the decisions we made. For example, I do not know a single woman who has gone through breast cancer, with a mastectomy, and reconstruction (not me) who has not said 'I wish they had made sure I understood that part', 'I didn't realize that until after' or 'I don't think I knew it would take so long' and other statements.

Honestly I know there are many decisions I wish I had  known more about my options before I chose. Some of the best advice I ever got was from my friends who had been through the same crap. Because they knew. The doctors couldn't tell me. The nurses couldn't tell me. I think they assumed I would just take their suggestions and be a lemming.

But only by talking to my friends with breast cancer, or whatever ailment I needed to make a decision for, did I learn 'the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth'. None of them had medical training or social workers or anything like that. But the difference was they had been through it themselves. If we could provide 'good advice' to others, that would be great.

Why do I do what I do?

I'm not talking about cancer, I'm talking about volunteer stuff. I never used to volunteer. I mean rarely did I volunteer. I was too busy having a life, or trying to at least. Ten years ago, I got bit by the volunteer bug and now I seem to fill my life with volunteering.

In the past ten  years I have: been on the board of the friends organization for the town library, volunteered at Komen events, volunteered with Relay for Life, volunteered at the local cancer support organization, worked at the annual conference for NEDMA, help the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation with their website for their annual fundraiser, briefly helped with the local chapter of the American Diabetes Association and one of their annual events, helped NECCS with their annual luncheon and fundraiser, and volunteer with Casting for Recovery. There's more but I can't remember.

So why do I do all this? Because it makes me feel good. I don't do more than I should. For example when I help CFF, they send me an email and say can you please update our website with this information. Or I helped NECCS with their vendor round up. I could do it from home and not have to leave the house.

I help several causes. Many are cancer related but not all. I have decided that is not as important as I previously thought.

But before 2004, I never volunteered. Especially for cancer stuff. I didn't want to be as open about my medical stuff than I had to be.

But now I wonder why I didn't. I volunteer with people and I have no idea if they had the ailment or not. Nor do I care. Because that's not the important part of volunteering. The important part is getting that warm feeling from helping others and see a smile on people's faces when they experience it.

And I can show them how I got through cancer treatment and there is life on the other side. But then I have to admit I had cancer too - and that's part of my healing process too.