On Not Blogging About Breast Cancer

So yes my blog is called Caroline's Breast Cancer Blog but I haven't been writing about breast cancer as much. Why? Because of several reasons:

• My health is not focused on breast cancer
• I try not to live in the 'all cancer all the time channel'

Honestly, my health sucks but its not all about cancer. I have plenty of other chronic ailments to cope with. And I also try not to focus on my health all the time. I have other things going in my life - weaving, knitting, travel, gardening, reading.... I can't remember anything else. Oh, cooking. I like to cook.

I wish I could cut all the focus in my life off my health. There was a time in my life when I just had one little niggling constant glimmer in my mind of thyroid cancer and nothing else. Those were the days.

A Cold and Rainy Day For Me To Take Advantage

I am sitting here in a warm sweater with my feet up watching reruns on the DVR while it is cold and rainy outside. The cats went out because they insisted (I said they should stay in but they didn't listen - of course). When the electrician showed up around 845 AM, they came in soaking wet and snow are napping where its warm and dry.

Now that I am not working, I do appreciate having the opportunity to stay home on bad weather days. The whole point of stopping work was to be able to take better care of myself. And cold rainy days are perfect for sitting around with my feet up.

But if you want to think I am that lazy, I am not. I have the second of five loads of laundry in the wash with the first one drying. I have also picked up the house in preparation for the cleaning lady's arrival tomorrow morning.

My health is more important to me than almost anything. (Everyone should keep their health front and center take care of themselves.) Is there anything I could have done to prevent the collapse of my health? No I don't think so (except for my bad knees which I managed to do in through skiing, ice skating, hiking, snow shoeing, and more). These days my goals include not doing anything that might make my heath worse - short or long term. It doesn't seem to take much.

Last summer I went to water the plants in the back yard with the hose. And managed to completely tear my ACL in my left knee - something that won't be fixed short of a knee replacement. Some caution is the word (especially when my husband is looking except when I want him to take over for me).

I do want to get to the library later to pick up and return books. I also want to stop by the paint store to get paint samples to try out. Eventually I will paint more rooms but I am still confirming what colors I want. I want to try painting the samples on the wall and see how they look. (I will paint them on the wall where a picture is hanging and then I will rehang the pictures until I am ready to paint.)

I am taking after their example and will stay inside until I break down and go to the library and paint store. In the meantime I think its time for a cup of tea.

3000th blog post

My blog post is not about numbers or volume or anything like that but recently I realized I was nearing 3000 blog posts. Today is number 3000. My blog started June 2, 2007, 3089 days or 8 years, 5 months, 14 days ago.

I set out blogging as a way to vent my feelings and keep my friends and family updated through breast cancer diagnosis and treatment, which would be a year or so and then I would return to my 'new normal'.

It didn't work out that way. Not many of my local friends or family read my blog. I am still working on that 'new normal' (and if anyone ever finds it, please let me know where it is), and my health still sucks, even though there have been no new cancer misadventures.

I still benefit from my nearly daily blogging. It allows me a way vent my feelings on my sub-par health which is really what I need. I also like to think my so called 'words of wisdom' have helped others deal with breast cancer and other not so fun medical crap.

Along the way I have also met many wonderful people online who are dealing with their own medical crap and they have become friends, although we have not nor do I think we ever will meet in person. But we are friends. And as a result I have a bunch of greatly appreciated supporters when I go through my own bumps in the health roller coaster.

I think I will keep blogging, I see no reason to stop as long as it continues to help me.

No I don't care

Sunday is my cancerversary. I don't really care. At all. What would I be celebrating? Still being here after breast cancer. Not really. I probably should celebrate my 34th cancerversary from thyroid cancer. But I don't either. I have considered that one but never have done much.

I can understand why some people want to celebrate being around after their lives were turned upside down. I have a friend who is I believe 8 years out from stage IIIC lymphoma. I have another friend who will be 34 or so years out from stage IV ovarian cancer. Those probably deserve more celebrating but I am not even sure either of them do.

What I do prefer is to celebrate my 37th birthday (again - I was 29 for a long time but have since switched to 37) this year. My life is not defined by my health but by me. In fact, I cannot let my life be defined by my health. I am so much more than that.