And how am I doing?

I blogged about my difficult decision. I blogged about our new cats. I haven't blogged about me.

Honestly, I am not doing that great. I have been exhausted for a while. On vacation I would sleep a lot and was feeling caught up on sleep. Since coming home, I have been exhausted. After two nights in our bed, I have slept well but am still exhausted. I woke up a while ago and am still in bed and will probably go back to sleep.

My knee is a clear source of stress. It has a tendency to give way, even while wearing a brace, which is not fun. I start PT next week and will see how it goes. I plan to talk to the physical therapist about my knee giving way before I call my doctor back. Its not making me happy.

I am also feeling emotionally drained. It was a big effort to leave our long planned vacation. My first thought on driving home was to call my therapist and get in to see her. But I am not sure of my schedule this week and I have an appointment in a couple weeks anyway. Maybe I just need to go into emotional hiding for a bit and lick my wounds for a few days.

In some ways its a bit of relief that I stood my ground and left. Everything is now out in the open.

I need a nap. Bye.

It all caught up to me

Exhaustion that is. I have been riding this wave of feeling okay most of the time. This happens every so often. Wednesday I felt it a bit. I came in the door at 530 after getting my nails done (a post chemo personal preference - after destroying my nails in chemo, I appreciate them much more now) and felt a wave of exhaustion come over me. We did go out to dinner anyway. I figured I would be okay if I just went to bed after that.

Yesterday I was okay in the morning and made it through work, a couple errands and the grocery store. By the time I got home, I was tired and decided I needed to lie down for an hour before making dinner. An hour later I got up and told my husband it was left overs in the microwave for dinner and back to bed for me.

I was exhausted. I was more than exhausted. I slept all night. The alarm went off and I slept for another hour.

I am still tired but I think I can get through today and probably cook dinner.

This is what happens to me. I function normally and do normal non-energetic things. Then all of a sudden I am completely wiped out. Exhausted.

Tomorrow I hope to sleep late. Maybe even get that crucial 12 hours of sleep. Thank you fibromyalgia and rheumatoid arthritis for doing this to me.