Stress is Bad for My Waistline

This isn't a good week. (I swear I do have good weeks, just not right now.) The reasons why it isn't a good week is that I had an MRI Monday night so I was up way too late - meaning after midnight. Today I have a deep cleaning at the periodontist. This means they will inject Novocaine and then scrape way under my gums. I expect I will have soup or scrambled eggs for dinner. Then tomorrow night I have the sleep lab so I don't expect to get a good night's sleep again. I know I whined blogged about this earlier this week but I want to whine some more.

Yesterday I needed a two hour nap to recover from Monday night. I also needed too many snacks. Today I think I will probably be grumpy. I plan on eating lunch before my appointment which probably means some kind of fast food which is bad. But I think if I have some food in my stomach I will probably handle the teeth scraping better. (My dentist has told me this several times - eat a good meal before dental work. Having food in your system makes a big difference.) Also I probably won't be able to eat for a few hours after between sore gums and numbness.

When I am stressed I find myself stress eating. I know I am doing it and have tried to turn myself towards fruit instead of fattening food. But its just too many categories. When I am extremely stressed (think cancer diagnosis level of stress) I stop eating and actually lose weight. I need to lose weight but I am happy I am not that stressed and am at the whining stage.

I just need to watch what I eat and get through this week. Then I'll stop whining.

Changes I Can Make

My therapist asked me an interesting question the other day - do I eat specific items that could help with my fibromyalgia? I actually thought about it for a minute. (Me, taking other people's advice???? LOL) An email came through my inbox on foods that are beneficial for people with fibromyalgia - I got as far as seeing bananas on the list and I eat one every day.

However that did prompt me to wonder what other changes I could make to my life to help me in some ways. I had thought that once I left my pastry filled job I would lose a few pounds. I did lose a couple pounds but then they reappeared. This indicates to me that I need to rethink my eating habits because the flab is not going to vaporize as I expected.

I am going to think about making some changes to help me feel better - losing weight will help with other health issues. Here's my list of what I want to work on:

- Food and eating habits. Incorporate more 'good' foods and less 'bad' foods. Good foods are ones which may help with fibro and RA as well as lose weight. Lots of whole grains, fresh fruits and veggies and better home made stuff. The problem with me cooking more is I don't have the energy or the stamina to do much more cooking. I'll have to work on this area and figure things out.

- Exercise. I do go to the gym and get an hour of cardio in three times a week. I also then spend another 30 minutes or so doing stretching, free weights, and machines. But I can't go for walks and things like that. Different body parts start hurting once I go too far. I do try to go out and garden and get out in the yard but I want to figure out how can I do more without regretting it. Maybe I should sit down with my physical therapist and get some professional advice.

We already are leaning to the organic, whole food sort of thing so that area is under control. I grew a lot in the garden this year until the drought hit so we didn't get as much food as I thought but this will expand next year. I am not sure what else can I do but I will give it more thought.

I do think I want to explore more changes that I can make to work on this. I think a goal is a good thing and will provide motivation for me.

Being an elephant....

Or more on perceptions vs. reality. I talk about losing weight and my deflabbification project but it never seems to work. I have decided my job is very fattening. I sit next to the kitchen and then people bring in nasty things like donuts and cookies... or even make special trips to the bakery next door to get more when the homemade stuff is run out or they just want a sweet thing. And of course they get enough to share. Then there is the snack rack where for 90 paltry pennies you can get a bag of premade, chemical and fat filled, empty calories of your choice. All within 8' of my desk and in my sightlines. As well as the parade of coworkers going by for their share. So I decided I look and feel like this:

Or this:

Last week at the reunion, I was talking to a social worker friend about this (who is less than 5' tall and weighs less than 90 lbs) about how I feel fat and I hate the way I look in pictures. Her calm reply was that we all feel that way. It did help but I still feel fat. I know my downfalls - emotional eating, late night snacking after dinner, on the job snacking and I have promised myself I need to do something about this before I have to buy larger clothes yet again. But I do feel very sorry for this elephant that is on a strict diet to lose 500 lbs during pregnancy no less.

I assume it was only Chinese take out.

Yesterday morning I woke up feeling fine. I went to work and felt fine. At lunch, a co-worker and I decided to have Chinese food delivered. Partly because our lunch choices were lame (me) or non existent (her) and partly because they would bring it to us instead of us going to pick it up. We get take out every couple of weeks from the same place and we get two days worth of food for one day's price due to the portion size.

We both ordered the same thing pretty much - a lunch special of pork lo mein but we had different appetizers. I ate the mushrooms, she picked her's out as she doesn't like them. After lunch, my head started to spin and I couldn't focus. She felt fine. I ended up going home from work early and took a three hour nap. I slept solidly.

My husband came home and couldn't find me. He thought I had gone to run an errand or something. Finally he looked up stairs and found me asleep.I slept through the phone ringing, him calling me, the cat walking on me. I was out like the proverbial light as they say.

We had soup and sandwiches for dinner. He had 2/3 and I had 1/3. It helped the nauseous feeling I had. I slept all night as well and could barely drag myself out of bed this morning.

Why is she blogging about this?  Why am I reading this (you are asking yourself)? As I left work among comments about bad food, someone said the fateful words 'or are you coming down with something?'  That is the problem. Compromised immune systems and all that.

Yesterday was Wednesday (in case you forgot) and that is methotrexate injection day around here (and methotrexate is what suppresses my immune system). A few months ago, I had a stomach flu thing that laid me up for 9 days. I was told after I should skip methotrexate if I am sick at all.

So yesterday I thought about it and decided I am going to pretend I am a normal person and do the injection and assume it was a minor Chinese food mix up and not something that can do me in for more than a week.

If I am whining about not feeling well for the next week or so you can feel free to comment and say "I told you so" but sometimes its nice to pretend our ailments do not keep us down and a bad bit of Chinese takeout is all it is. Sometimes we do live in the shadow of our ailments as they interfere with all the little things in life. It was only Chinese take out.