I Am Entitled To Change My Mind

Most days I blog about what is on my mind and it just sort of  pours out of me. Sometimes its in reaction to something I saw, read, or heard. Sometimes its just what is on my mind. And sometimes I change my mind. Sometimes I read my blog again and think about what I actually wrote.

Yesterday, I blogged about changes I could make and a week ago I blogged about how I am done making lifestyle changes. And I realized I totally changed my mind. But then I realized I didn't. I am ready to make changes that other people tell me to do. And I am ready to make changes that I want to do. I don't want to be told what to do. I am an adult after all. (I realize some people may disagree with this - about being an adult that is.)

I like to make my own decisions about me. And I am kind of sick of doctors telling me what I am supposed to do and needing to know every detail about me. The worse your health is the less privacy and modesty you have. Doctors make all kinds of decisions for you - eat this, not that, let me stick this needle into you, you will only feel a pinch, etc.

So I am done with being told what to do, or have it suggested to me.... I am going to make my own decisions.

Patient vs Doctor

I often write about what its like to be a patient. Well, not just often, more like all the time. Why? Because I am a patient who is a frequent flyer at the local hospital. Sometimes I know more about the hospital than its employees.

As patients we go through our medical adventures and misadventures and move on. That nasty test is over. The bad results are digested and a treatment plan comes along. We have our emotional highs and lows and we keep on going.

We hear about the potential risks and problems at each treatment. We hope for the best and sometimes cope with the worst. We develop ways to cope and move on and grow.

But what about the doctors and nurses and other medical professionals? I have never really stopped to think about them and how they cope.

First of all in their jobs, every day is like Groundhog Day. They must deliver good and bad news, administer tests and watch their patients react. They help cure and heal some patients, and are forced to watch others slip away. That must be incredibly difficult. It must represent a failure for those who took the oath to 'do no harm'.

They work hard to help their patients and then some they can't help. So what is your job? Engineer, cook, parent, soldier, butcher, baker, candlestick maker? What if what you make is a total flop? How does that make you feel? But what if its not just a flop but someone loses their life?

And what about the further burden of a patient who follows their advice to a T and still doesn't make it?

The emotional toll must be incredible. I could not imagine. And I had never ever thought about it until I read this article on a doctor who writes prose and poetry as an emotional outlet to cope. That's not that much different from being a patient.

Debating the right to die at home

I am sure you have heard of the story of Brittany Maynard who died  with help from a prescription at home after a horrible cancer diagnosis. The real story includes he fact that she had to move from California to Oregon to do this.

Now there is another woman who is suing California for the right to die at home, and not have to move out of state to do so.

I strongly believe in the right to die at home, on my own schedule. I do not want to die full of tubes in some uncomfortable, impersonal hospital bed. When I get to the bitter end, I want to be home with a few selected people. 

If I get a diagnosis like Mrs. Maynard did, I would definitely want to be able to choose when I die and have the option to make that decision.

But I can understand why others do not share the same beliefs.  There are religions who believe in the sanctity of human life. There are others who would not want to because they want their doctors to keep trying to save them.

All I want is the right to make the decision by myself. If my health took a horrible turn from which there is no treatment, I would want to be able to consult with a doctor and a psychiatrist to make the decision and get the prescription to make the decision on when. I would not want to have to file a lawsuit to be able to do so.

It should be a matter of choice, not a legal issue.