Back and Forth

Adding to yesterday's post on the evil voice, I can go weeks, even a few months, and feel that I am doing okay and I am in status quo of a semi-healthy state. Then I go over to the other side and think my body has let me down and I have some new ailment. Or an ailment has decided to act up again.

Its just unfair. Seriously.

But I digress. I felt well for about a week. By well, I mean sort of normal. Then we came home and my back started killing me. And my knee hurts. And my neck hurts. Then I am sure next week at least for a few days, I will feel fine.

The hard part is the balancing. Every day I wake up optimistic and then I do something like try to move, or get up to head for the bathroom. Some days I can manage the basics without saying 'ooch, ouch' constantly. Some days, people start to look at me funny when I start talking to myself 'ooch, ouch, ooch, ouch, ooch, ouch....'  You get it.

So some days its good. Some days its not. I never know. I can have big plans for the day and then my body says 'no you aren't going anywhere'. I can't count the number of times I have changed plans simply because I can't go anywhere.

Back and forth. Every day. Its a crap shoot. Back and forth.

I Have Learned

Unfortunately because of my health I have learned a lot about dealing with doctors and ailments. Its the one thing I can still do.

Someone I know has been dealing with a significant medical issue and now has gotten some more news which could impact the rest of his life permanently. As someone who has dealt with multiple medical issues I could relate to his concerns.

I shared what I would have done based on my experiences with ailments. I guess I have learned a lot in the past ten years or so of medical disasters. This is what I have learned:

Step one: education. Find out as much as you can about the body part with the problem. Research the crap out of it. I would start with any medical organization for doctors who deal with this problem. Then I would find out as much as I could about the ailment. And then the body part with the problem - what does it do, how does it work, and what is the impact of a not so good body part - can you live without it or if its damaged. What is the long term impact of it. Take the time to learn all you can about the changes in your health and how your body can deal with it.

Step two: ask questions. Write down all the questions you have and then get someone to go to the doctor appointments with you so you can the answers you need. Their job is to make sure you get all the information you want. This is always a good idea with a major medical issue. Keep learning, even attempt to stay up with the latest research.

Step three: options. Once you get the information so you have a better idea of what you are facing, maybe get a second opinion. Take your time and think about options. Digest what you have learned and figure out what you want to do. Don't assume the first doctor is correct.

I hate dealing with doctors and stuff. But I guess I have learned enough that I can share with others on what has worked with me. I just wish I was healthy.

I Am No Longer A Morning Person

I used to be a morning person. Really. In junior high and high school I would even get up and go ice skating for an hour or two before school. This would mean being at the ice rink as early as 545 AM. I was never the kid who stayed up late. I always went to bed early. In college I only managed to stay up late and practiced the art of napping regularly. That way with a nap, I could still go to the keg party until 2 AM.

When I met my husband, my big fear was that he would be a late night person. That was quickly proved wrong. We both think going to bed at 9 PM is normal. (And we like reading books.) As a military guy he thinks 0500 is a normal wake up time. (It was a match made in heaven.) And every time I saw 0500 I think of Whats-His-Name in Good Morning Vietnam where the 0 stands for Oh-My-God-Its-Early. When I worked full time that was good. We both got up early and went to work. I was often one of the first ones in the office which would mean I could leave by 5 and get home to my husband.

Now I don't work. I need more rest and sleep. When I go to the gym, I usually plan on leaving after rush hour so I can sleep in as needed. I sometimes get up and sometimes I sleep in. I am no longer a morning person.

But every so often, I hate myself because I let my schedule mess me up. Today I am getting my nails done at 1015 AM. That means I need to go to the gym before then. (You can't go to the gym after you get your nails done because it will mess up your toes.) To allow time to drive to the gym, work out, shower after the gym and get to the salon on time, I need to leave here around 7 AM. Eek!

Why did I do that? Why, why, why? The easy answer is I had to post pone my nail appointment from last week and this was the only time available. I hate getting up this early now.  I am no longer an morning person. Maybe I can take a nap this afternoon.

Annual Physical

I am just fine. I am damn happy. And perky! And feeling no pain. No that's a big fat lie. I have a lot of pain. I ran out of steam yesterday. I was very tired by the end of the day. Apparently I did too much. All I did was go to the gym. And then the library and one store. That was it. I was wiped out. I even took a break after the gym.

Next week I have my annual physical. I have two options: go in and lie and say everything is fine, or go in and tell the truth about how I feel. This could put me back on a medical roller coaster of a sort. At this point I am not concerned with out going back on the medical roller coaster as I am with being as healthy as I can.

I do not think I have something bad going on. Its just my annual chance to sit down with my primary care physician and go through how I am feeling, what are my concerns, and what we can do to make me do better, or even improve my health - now that's an interesting concept.

Now I just have to make a list of what I want to talk about. Damn.